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Joke of the Day

"How many men from the US swim team does it take to open a door? Just one if its lochte'd"

"How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI? The cigarette."

"It's been so long since I bought groceries, this morning I saw a c**kroach move out. ""Good luck,"" he sighed, clutching his tiny suitcases."

"Why did the console gamer faint when they visited the art gallery There were too many frames"

"guys: women are a mystery. women: Here is what we- guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT? women: well for start- guys: Guess we'll never know!"

"What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare."

"Probably my worst birthday was my 9th because my mom was in jail & her boyfriend TJ made me a pinata filled with maggots & hair."

"He raised an eyebrow, put his hand down and with one eye on the table, looked expressionless. Never play poker against Mr Potato Head."

"Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles? So he could break out."

"Hey girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest"