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Joke of the Day

"What's gray and comes in quarts? Elephants"

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"What is a Mexican's least favorite nursery rhyme? Humpty Dumpty"
"Introducing my girlfriend to the family Me: This is my girlfriend Jane Jane: Hi Wife: What the fuck"
"What do you call a strongheaded female rapper, and a flatulent Spanish woman? One's a Queen Latifah, and one's a Queef Latina."
"[Kitchen] Me: I'm a were-state. When the moon is full I turn into a US state. Wife: No you don't the moon is full now. Me: *Illinois noises*"
"How does father Christmas get away with suing everyone? The Santa Clause"
"If you make something that goes viral... You are a social media influenza."
"It was just a homeless man defecating in an elevator, but that's when the real shit went down."
"Your momma's so stupid... ...she asked what army Colonel Sanders was in."
"I can't stand Freud... him and his motherfucking complex."