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Joke of the Day
"I talk like a sailor in front of my kid. He's gonna swear anyway and I want him to be good at it."
Next Joke
"How do we know that deer are stupid... ...and not just *really* suicidal?"
"A woman asked a female doctor if she had aids ... ""Yes, I do. They're busy now, but they'll be with you shortly."""
"*Blows air in girls face like Nintendo cartridge* ""Ok, NOW will you go out with me?"""
"What did the dyslexic bank robber say when he robbed the bank? ""Air in the hands motherstickers! This is a fuck up!"""
"Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg? Because they're both cracked!"
"""I love garlic bread! Put another loaf in the oven baby""fun song I made up at dinner. RT to show my family they're wrong & the song is good"
"I'd probably be, like, 5% cooler if I wasn't terrified of being on a moving skateboard."
"What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate? Brown-chichen-Brown-cow"
"Take it easy, guy who posts 10,000 pics of his baby on Facebook. We get it already. You got laid once."