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Joke of the Day

"Whenever two people argue over something, yell out ""OBJECTION"" and then contradict the one wearing something you don't like."

"I tried to put two apples together But then I got a pear"

"The difference between a rooster and a lawyer? When the rooster wakes, his primal urge is to cluck defiance."

"If you want sex... A man tells his wife in bed that if she wants sex to reach over and pull on it once. If she doesn't, reach over and pull it 100 times."

"Girl, yo grammatical atrocities so huge, you need typosuction."

"The meanest man in the world Is the Warden who put a tack on the electric chair."

"Whenever I conduct a job interview I ask the applicant to name their favorite Muppet, and no matter the answer I scowl and shake my head."

"I dunked on my brother one summer, like, 20 yrs ago, on the adjustable hoop in the driveway, & I still think about it roughly twice a week."

"Every kiss begi... K"

"The miserly squirrel never found a mate, because he insisted on a prenutshell agreement."