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Joke of the Day

"Whenever two people argue over something, yell out ""OBJECTION"" and then contradict the one wearing something you don't like."

"Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'? It's too complex"

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper up to a mile away"

"If it acts like a duck, sounds like a duck and looks like a duck, then it is probably some girl on Instagram taking a selfie."

"Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing"

"My dad thought it would be a good idea to show my girlfriend my baby photos. ""You haven't changed at all."" she laughed. ""That's enough of the naked ones, please."" I told him."

"If you want to hunt birds at night, you should bring a Texan along. They always seem to remember the owl-ammo."

"*Skrillex, young and penniless, is working at a grocery store and shelving boxes of produce* *drops beets* Oh. Oh my god."

"I'm looking for the funniest short joke ever Not short as in small, short as in short"

"Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even"