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Joke of the Day

"Patient goes to the doctor about his obesity... He says ""It's not my fault doctor, obesity runs in my family."" Doctor replies, ""No the problem is no one runs in your family."""

"A roman walks into a bar Holds up two fingers and says ""I'll take five beers please!"""

"Today in an elevator, I got off on my floor, hugged the person next to me & said, ""You seem like a alotta fun. We should keep in touch.""."

"What's the hardest part about roller-skating? Telling your parents you're gay."

"Dear ladies, if you want to have more free time and have fun on the weekends, teach your men fishing!"

"I talked to San Andreas about the earthquake yesterday. He said it wasn't his fault."

"What's pasty, white, and bounces up and down in a crib? My ass."

"How do you put out a maxipad fire? You tampon it."

"[Mad scientist lamenting] ""All that work, trying to create a perfect palindrome ..wasted! DAMMIT I'M MAD !"" (Pauses) ""Hey...wait"

"People say I'm a people person It's like a dog person, but with a lot more chains in my basement."