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Joke of the Day

"How do you put out a maxipad fire? You tampon it."

"How many sovereign citizens does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They're too afraid of the electricity."

"Why don't they let whales into strip clubs? They tend to humpback."

"Yet another ""No DMs"" bio. All this civil rights progress but bigotry against Dungeon Masters is still tolerated."

"I had a turd the other day that looked exactly like George Bush. I shit you not! (It even tried to declare war on me)"

"I said to the gym instructor: ""Can you teach me to do the splits?"" He said: ""How flexible are you?"" I said: ""I can't make Tuesdays."""

"I just sent a text that says ""we really need to talk"" to everyone I know so nobody will bother me today."

"I'd like to thank /r/jokes for teaching me so many jokes! I've always hated the sound of laughter..."

"I got arrested for running out of gas on the highway. I told the cop I was on E."

"i just realized there are more toes in the world than people"