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Joke of the Day

"I just found a little puppy on the sidewalk and it started TALKING! It was weird but tasted great."

"I know she wanted to be cremated, and I know she didn't want a formal funeral... ...But was a ""Family Barbecue"" really the best idea?"

"I went to an illiterate psychic I couldn't get a reading"

"What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea..."

"If your wife is shouting Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog -- at least he'll quiet down after you let him in."

"Thou shalt not commit adulthood"

"Favorite joke as a kid. How did Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis."

"Do you know what really grinds my gears? Poor clutch control."

"In a spaceship... - Hey Yoda. Are we in the right way? - Of course we are. - Ok then... KEEP GOING GUYS, THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY."

"My class teacher once said ""Write and Practice."" Turns out she was right. I practiced on my desk just before I started my exam and it worked"