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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when a woman is about to say some thing intelligent? She starts her sentance with ""A man once told me"""

"If I can't stand on a counter top display at Home Depot and shit in the sink then we are truly living in a fascist society."

"""I do."" ""Same."" - wedding vows in 2030"

"There were rumours about someone who gassed a total of 6 million cows In other news, the government was finally able to meet the demand of Anne Frankfurters"

"Why do beaches not get sarcasm? Because they always take things littorally"

"Why are bananas so popular? Because they have appeal"

"Self control (sorry if offends you) I stopped a girl getting raped today. I used self-control."

"How do you make Hitler kill himself? Give him his gas bill."

"What's the difference between a hockey player and a redneck girl? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."

"What does a Stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work? She drops him off at band practice."