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Joke of the Day

"Hello, oh you don't have a ramp I guess, okay well lets talk in the driveway my name is Professor X and I run a school for monster babies"

"You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets."

"50 years from now...""Remember that time we were fighting the riot police and the National Guard ..."" ""...and your mommy shows up and kicks your ASS?"""

"People say you can't live without love... i think oxygen is more important"

"American Public Schools."

"Blanket on: too hot, Blanket off: too cold, 1 leg out: perfect, until the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs it & drags you down the hall."

"If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type, I could lead in the Republican Primary polls."

"I'm obsessed with the earth It's like my whole world."

"What are the 2 biggest lies men tell? 1) The check's in the mail 2) I won't cum in your mouth"

"What happens when a cow jumps over barbed wire? Udder destruction!"