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Joke of the Day

"50 years from now...""Remember that time we were fighting the riot police and the National Guard ..."" ""...and your mommy shows up and kicks your ASS?"""

"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"What is Mortal Kombat fans' favorite Nigerian state? It's Kano."

"A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them."

"What did the mathematician do when he was constipated? He worked it out with a pencil"

"What's the difference between two dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Never go shopping on an empty stomach, I just went to Macy's before dinner and ate 7 turtle necks"

"Why did the Wise Man get 25 to life? Myrrhder"

"Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !"

"dyslexic x 2 1) Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He laid awake at night wondering if there really was a Dog. 2) So, the dyslexic guy goes into a bra."