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Joke of the Day

"American Public Schools."

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"Million Dollar Idea: A pot pie. Only bigger. And filled instead with fruit. Apples perhaps."
"Sweat pants & Uggs in public says ""and I didn't brush my teeth, either."""
"Pistorius won't have trouble finding his feet when they jail him, they will be kept in a box next to the door"
"[god, creating ducks] Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don't know"
"Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because she can't find the eleven."
"What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time? I'm Thor"
"Jury remains deadlocked in the case of Good Times v. Bad Times"
"I've waited long to say this. I think we should all gift watches to the folks at /r/trees. It's high time."
"If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out."