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Joke of the Day

"Your calculator will be there for you tomorrow... You can count on it."

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"The Egyptian man became a bone doctor... They called him a Cairopractor"
"Blood is thicker than water. Maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it."
"How did the hipster burn his tongue ? cos he drank he coffee before it was cool..."
"A student is the only one in the school who can take retests... They say he is remarkable."
"What do you call a political pig? A boar."
"Cashier: ""Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of shit?"""
"What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? ""Put it on my bill."""
"Every Canadian child goes to sleep with a plush toy of the current Prime Minister to keep them safe. Justin Trudeau was elected because Stephen Harper was scaring the children."
"Where did the Candian pirate live? Ont**ARR**io"