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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear the one about the procrastinator?"
Next Joke
"""I'm quite content on this side of the street, thank you."" -- No squirrel ever."
"Because 'brunch' sounds better than 'I slept until 2pm, I have a hangover and I want pancakes.'"
"My walk of shame is every time I leave a girl's house after watching ""How I Met Your Mother"" with her."
"What does the quantum duck say? Quark Quark"
"The best part of necrophilia You don't have to bring flowers"
"Would you rather...? Would you rather have fucked a goat but nobody knows, or everyone thinks you fucked a goat but you didnt and there's no way to change their mind?"
"Homophobia isnt much about fear, true, but I wish it was more like Arachnaphobia(I heard that every year in your sleep you swallow 7 gays)"
"I'm not worried about chemtrails anymore. My flu shot must be kicking in."
"I hate it when I go to clean my daughters room & I emerge 3 hours later having just finished a delightful tea party with a giraffe & a pony."