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Joke of the Day
"Because 'brunch' sounds better than 'I slept until 2pm, I have a hangover and I want pancakes.'"
Next Joke
"How do you know your girlfriend is too young? You have to make airplane noises to get your dick in her mouth."
"What do you call the science of knives? Cutting edge technology."
"I painted my computer black... thinking it would run faster but it just stopped working"
"currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out"
"If I ever get a llama, I'm totally naming it Dalai."
"I hate it when my girlfriend tells me she's about to come I have shitty cellphone reception."
"I asked my trainer ""Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"" He pointed outside and said ""The ATM machine"""
"Why were the sneakers so sad? Because they had ten issues."
"What do you call a bra that tightens the more you try to take it off? A booby trap!"