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Joke of the Day
"The best part of necrophilia You don't have to bring flowers"
Next Joke
"[1st time buying drugs] Me: can I get a *reads smudged notes on hand* married iguana Guy: *opens coat to reveal married iguanas* Me: hell ya"
"How to 4-dimensional aliens get around? In Tralfamadoloreans."
"How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side."
"How did the drunk Irish man lose 30$? He bet 10$ on the soccer game and 20$ on the replay."
"Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night."
"What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard? A new last name."
"Sharp and short! **Husband** : I love you! **Wife** : Not today!"
"Sherlock Holmes and his partner are walking in the woods... ...they happen upon a tree bearing yellow fruit. Watson asks, ""What the hell is that?"", Sherlock responds, ""A lemon tree my dear Watson."""
"I woke this morning to find Mr.Mittens on the bed staring at me with a look that said 'You're a mouth breather, and I'll never respect you'"