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Joke of the Day

"Him:Wow you came back from your run in record time... Me:It's amazing how fast you can go if you imagine your mother is chasing you..."

"Teenage Mutant African Mammals Lionardo Giraffael Rhinotello Michelantelope"

"What crime did the viticulturist get imprisoned for? Grape."

"If I were to have an affair I'd make sure to have a signed prehumptial agreement."

"The word 'twice' is so good they named it 'Twice'."

"The man who invented the Kinder Surprise had died. The pathologist who does his autopsy is in for a treat."

"Customer service stopped recording my calls for training purposes. There's nothing to be learned from that much profanity."

"What is the difference between a Train and an Hamster ? The train got windows"

"You know how you play Iranian bingo? A-10, B-52, F-22, C-130"

"I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles, my next crap could spell disaster!"