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Joke of the Day

"I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall. I thought of having them. Nails always come in handy."

"Why was 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 had some PCP and was going ape shit!"

"Is fapping while high hijacking? Or is it weed whacking?"

"Curiosity gave the cat slightly high blood pressure but nothing to be concerned about."

"How do you kill 10 flies with one hit? You punch african kid in the face."

"I know a few people who are the human version of an email missing the attachment."

"What's up? Some movie about an old guy and balloons."

"DIVORCE & CIRCUMCISION Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck."

"If I had to guess at the religion of Daniel Day Lewis... I would probably have to say Methodist &nbsp; [What are the rules of Daniel Day Lewis?!](http://imgur.com/gallery/NDOov4L)"

"What does the hungry monster get after he's eaten too much ice cream? More ice cream!"