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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist? A marine biologist."

"I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy cheap toilet paper."

"Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face."

"It's hard to compare Stevie Wonder to Ray Charles They are both just so out of sight"

"What do you use to cut the ocean? A seasaw"

"Adolescent Sex Limerick There once was a girl named Sue, who really knew how to screw. She would grab my little dick, make it as hard as a stick then ride it until I blew."

"Fancy coming back to mine for a few shots ? Fuck off Oscar, I'm not falling for that one!"

"Unshakable Fact # 3 Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - Fucking PRICELESS."

"I was having trouble with my phone... So I took it to the phone store, and let me tell you! The service was great in there!"

"To convince my boss that I'm keeping busy, I periodically yell ""YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?"" into my phone, then slam down the receiver."