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Joke of the Day
"My friend stopped making payments to his exorcist. He was soon repossessed."
Next Joke
"If you were to look at my search history you might think I was a history buff... ... but in reality I just enjoy masturbating to pictures of Holocaust victims."
"my New Years resolution is to stop making stupid New Years resolutions. I failed."
"90% of the economy is just women giving each other useless gifts."
"Judging by the way some women wear makeup it's rather obvious they didn't excel at coloring as a kid."
"1st grade: Color inside the lines. 10th grade: Color outside the lines. Art School: Snort the lines and then go color."
"Rethink everything in your life if you're one of the 43,000 people making comments on an instagram photo of Kylie Jenner stretching."
"Why did the vegetables hop into the boiling pot of water? They were part of a stewicide pact."
"I would go to any lengths to find a good measuring tape."
"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack*, ""Darn!"" A skydiver goes ""Darn!"" *whack*"