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Joke of the Day
"I would go to any lengths to find a good measuring tape."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between the abominable snowman and the abominable snowwoman ? Two abominable snowballs"
"I suck my stomach in when ever I weigh myself!nnIt doesn't make me weigh less but at least I can see the numbers!"
"NORTH WEST KIM AND KANYE HAVE DECIDED TO NAME THE BABY 'NORTH'. I WONDER IF THE BABY WAS CONCIEVED AT THE MILE HIGH CLUB ON NORTH WEST AIRLINES"
"What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty? Pessimist Prime"
"You can catch a decent buzz from smoking catnip but don't be surprised if you wake up on top of the fridge."
"How do dinosaurs like their chicken? RAWWWWWWWW!!!!"
"Just had a very embarrassing misunderstanding with my new Irish girlfriend. Turns out she just wanted me to take her in the Yaris."
"Hate your job as a calendar maker?Need a way to get fired? Easy. ( _) ( _)>- (_) Just take a day off"
"A piece of shit walks into the bar Its my dad. My dad is a piece of shit"