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Joke of the Day

"1st grade: Color inside the lines. 10th grade: Color outside the lines. Art School: Snort the lines and then go color."

"I don't know why they don't let priests marry and have kids seems like a great way to guarantee they don't have sex."

"I just had a meeting with John It was stressful and hes full of shit."

"A member of the river dance group walks into a bar. And asks..... What have ya got on tap!?!?"

"Me on the Phone: I'm going to ""work"" from home today. My Boss: I heard those air quotes."

"What happens when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner."

"Girlfriend mentioned she was lacking iron in her diet.nnnI gave her all my wrinkled shirts.nnnAnd that's how the fight started."

"If you don't have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you"

"What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan? They're used to disappointment."

"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only Tennessee."