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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why people say ""They were busting their ass""? Wasn't it already cracked to begin with?"

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... And one turns to the other and says ""Dude, I can't believe I blew thirty bucks in there"""

"Nine years ago today 19 men came to my doorstep expecting 72 virgins. Little did they know how fucked they were going to be."

"I've been a little worried about the voices I hear in my head,.. .. luckily one of them is a therapist and he's been helping me through it."

"THIS IS MY LOCKER ROOM TALK GUY: Hey, do you know if they supply towels here? ME: Please don't look at me, my shirt is off."

"I just sprayed hair glitter onto a fly instead of insect spray. Not dead... but pretty fly."

"Naming your daughter after a luxury car or precious gemstone is a wager with the universe that your parenting can make her not be a stripper"

"How many muscles does a chicken have in its neck? Just enough to hold it's pecker up..."

"What's the difference between BMWs and porcupines? On porcupines, the pricks are on the outside."

"What's the difference between a gay guy and my refrigerator? My fridge doesn't shit on me when I pull my meat out of it!"