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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a gay guy and my refrigerator? My fridge doesn't shit on me when I pull my meat out of it!"

"If your kids are playing and it gets totally quiet, then you hear one say ""you're okay, you're okay,"" they are definitely NOT okay."

"My penis died. Can I bury it in your vagina?"

"My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure... ..So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die"

"if ur worried ur not gonna get a New Years Eve kiss just remember that Valentines Day is in 45 days n ur probably gonna b alone for that too"

"A monk walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says, ""Make me one with everything."" ~~~ So he pays for his meal and asks for his change. The vendor shrugs and retorts smugly, ""Change comes from within."""

"Sometimes I crash parties in a swimsuit, and tell people I'm a Reverse Lifeguard keeping an eye on the land."

"If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band what's his other favorite instrument to play? A trombone."

"Sorry I tried to strengthen my immune system by asking your wife to breast feed me."

"Most people can't drink coffee then go to sleep. I'm just the opposite. . . I can't go to sleep and then drink coffee. God, that was stupid."