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Joke of the Day

"I like Viagra so much... I literally have a hard on for it."

"Telling people to ban same sex marriage cuz of your religion is like telling the supermarket to stop selling junk food cuz you're on a diet."

"Two guys were watching a marathon on tv. One says to the other, ""why are they running?"" ""to win the prize."" ""who will win the prize?"" ""the one who finishes first."" ""then why are the others running?"""

"The best part of a handshake is the knuckles. I dunno why, but the blender just brings out their richness and flavour"

"I quit drugs, and it made everyone happy. Except for my lamp. It won't talk to me anymore."

"Why did the anvil hit the blacksmith instead? Because it was irony."

"Jesus and the blind man... What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man? Made you look!"

"Walked into the gym and did 1 push up in front of everyone, then ripped off my shirt and walked out grunting 'You did it. You did it.'"

"""This bouquet is missing some flowers"" I said lackadaisically."

"I'm so sick I feel like a white boy at his first Kanye concert (masterpiece)"