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Joke of the Day

"Telling people to ban same sex marriage cuz of your religion is like telling the supermarket to stop selling junk food cuz you're on a diet."

"What do you call a flexible Rastafarian who lies a lot? Cinnamon twist"

"""Your resume says you spent 4 years in England. What were you doing?"" *flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* ""Grad school."""

"What's the difference between a penis and a criminal? Well a penis gets hard, but a criminal does HARD time!"

"""Beer: Helping White Guys Dance Since 1842"" Posters Helping White Guys Seem Funny Since 1998"

"[spelling bee] Your word: Spelunking ""U-N-K-I-N-G"""

"I really like some metamorphic rocks... They're the schist!"

"Q: How many Ayatollahs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None-there weren't any light bulbs in the 13th century."

"Hoping to get a 4k tv after Christmas. Making my new years resolution 3840 x 2160."

"So...A man walks into a bar and says... Ouch!"