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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to amphibians. Swimmin' swimmin' swimmin' then BAM! walkin' walkin' walkin'"

"It's a boy! ""It's a boy!"" I shouted, as I ran from the Thai brothel."

"What is white outside, and black inside [NSFW] Justin Beiber with Usher dick in his anus."

"""And the guy's name was Anthony WEINER? Come on"" - high school AP U.S. history student, 2046"

"Can't wait to get off work, then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer."

"Nobody is as conflicted as a Jewish zombie about to eat Kevin Bacon."

"I hate when Doctors asks questions like . . . ""Are you sexually active?"" Depends on what you mean by ""active"". There are plenty of ""active"" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years."

"I have walrus-like reflexes! Basically I roll around my apartment and slap my belly when I want food"

"Sitting around the outdoor campfire I chuckle to myself My friend asks, what's so funny? I reply, ""I can't tell you out here, it's an inside joke."""

"I uploaded a video to Youtube and it wasn't stolen/ reuploaded by ViralHog! ..."