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Joke of the Day

"The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing"

"What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream? The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)"

"Explosive Opportunity A British engineer started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making landmines that look like prayer mats. He says that prophets are going through the roof."

"What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters? Jesus may actually return some day."

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and expense reports."

"Astronauts wear helmets to hide their tears when they discover the moon isn't made of cheese."

"I got done for shoplifting today. I paid for six cans of Sprite at the self checkout, but when security checked my bag he discovered I'd picked 7 up."

"To hell with syncing the Titanic... I named my iPhone ""ass"" so I could back that ass up."

"What do you call an African man with alot of problems? A Zulu Worry-er > I actually made this up just now while chilling with some of my black friends. They loved it."

"I had sex with Obama last night... And I'd just like to say, let's dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing!"