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Joke of the Day

"Some ppl are like, bury me and plant a tree so I live on in nature and I'm like, same but plant potatoes so I can live on in french fries"

"A toilet was stolen from my local police station. The cops said they had nothing to go on."

"A pregnant woman came in looking for a girly stroller So I kicker her in the stomach."

"Two potatoes are standing on the street corner, which one is the prostitute? The one that says Idaho"

"Stuart hall, Rolf harris and Max clifford walk into an Irish bar. Barman says not Yew Tree again"

"This guy at the bar wouldn't shut up about how Zombies ""could be real"" So I killed him... If he comes back...He wins the argument"

"Why was Timothy, the British astronaut, selected to go to the ISS? He was in Peake condition."

"HEY GUYS I'M AT NXNE! WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY?"

"cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you me: yeah he was not nice"

"LMAOSHMSFOAIDMT = Laughing my ass off so hard my sombrero fell off and I dropped my taco."