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Joke of the Day

"This guy at the bar wouldn't shut up about how Zombies ""could be real"" So I killed him... If he comes back...He wins the argument"

"The best part about being a grown-up is not having to answer to ANYONE! (What's that, honey? Be right there.)"

"What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head? The handycap."

"What video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft."

"What do you call a religious duck? A Quacker"

"When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

"Why did the string theorist return his vacuum cleaner It was only the standard model"

"I heard of a new sex position that I want to try. It's called 'with a partner'."

"Me : I wanna go home Boss: where's your dedication? Me : I left it at home can I go get it ?"

"What's the difference between a knife, and an argument with a female? A knife has a point..."