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Joke of the Day

"I call my penis ""newborn baby"" Because sometimes I have to slap it repeatedly to bring it to life."

"What is green and if you press a button its red? A frog in a mixer."

"(My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists? Simplifying Radicals. Yes, she's a math teacher."

"""honey, I can't wait to do missionary later!"" *Gets excited* *Wife leaves for third world country-helps many*"

"Making Weatherproof Clothes by Ranier Day"

"How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long? AHEM!"

"It's bad enough hearing people judge others based on their appearance... but when ugly people do it, I feel horrible."

"Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, ""Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10."""

"An interesting title Did you hear about the adulterous Amish woman? She was banging to Mennonite."

"Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!"