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Joke of the Day

"Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, ""Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10."""

"How do you know a girl is too young for you? When you have to make airplane noises to get your dick in her mouth"

"if at the end of every year you find yourself posting on social media how ""this year sucked,"" it's time to examine the common denominator"

"My car was making this annoying sound . . . . . . so I went to see a mechanic. Me: My car is making an annoying sound. Mechanic: Easy fix. Reach over. Open the door. And push her out."

"How'd the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool."

"Hey Pringles, It's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed. Thank you!"

"Where do Russians get their milk from? From moscow"

"If Im being racist, feel free to call me racist...[NSFW] If Im not, you can fuck right off you immigrant cunt."

"currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out"

"WOMAN: Is anyone here a doctor?! MAN: I sure am! And I think I can. Save that man. Like eggs & ham. W: Shutup Seuss! I meant a real doctor."