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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me I need more potassium in my diet And I said K."

"I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym earlier I've decided I'm never going again."

"Bought $200 sunglasses. Lost them in 15 minutes. Bought Walmart sunglasses. Had them for 238 years."

"11's thoughts on tonight's dinner: ""Well, it didn't make me gag, so I ate it."" The rewards of motherhood are truly breathtaking."

"Spent the entire day milking a single almond."

"My 6 year old Niece's Joke What did the Hippie say to the invisible elephant? Hey dude, you're outta sight!"

"What prophylactic did the black person rip open while having sex? The doctor's vaginer."

"I used to be into S&M. And necrophilia. And bestiality. Then I realized I was beating a dead horse."

"I am so bored in my current profession. I am thinking of becoming a bartender... ...to shake things up a bit."

"I told my friend that she had one of the nastiest bodies I've ever seen I hope she doesn't hold it against me."