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Joke of the Day

"A sweet treat. I find my sex life is a lot like Nutella. Everyone loves it and has it all the time, and I'm just sitting in bed alone with a box of Ritz crackers."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic druggie lawyer who just finished rehab? He's already started suing again."

"How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!"

"Weddings and funerals are the same because I love going but I don't want them to be about me."

"Holland break FIFA rules by accidentally scoring against Brazil"

"Q: Mrs. Bigger had a baby. Which one was bigger? A: The baby. It was a little Bigger."

"A man asked his wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day: Wife: ""A divorce."" Husband: ""I really wasn't planning on spending that much."""

"When I was in my twenties we didn't have hipsters we had AIDS, which was almost as bad."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a rubber band Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!"

"The most realistic thing about Stranger Things is how much time kids in the 80s spent without parental supervision."