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Joke of the Day

"So I heard the guy who invented anagrams died today... May he erect a penis."

"Young people of today will never know the joy of having a cassette stuck in the car stereo & listening to the same 12 songs for 20 years."

"""Hey kids, you like candy?"" I said to my own kids, luring them into my van so I could get them to school and be at work on time."

"why do people keep putting flag overlays on their avatar when tragedies happen? like i've seen it happen with france, brussels, gay marriage"

"My manicurist mother and dentist father didn't like each other... They fought tooth and nail all the time."

"I was born in the USA... ..some parts imported from China, though."

"I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any."

"What's the difference between a black person and cancer? Cancer got Jobs"

"What does the daddy gun have when he becomes a father? A bb gun."

"I can tell by the way you give me instructions that you've dealt with a lot of dumb people before me."