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Joke of the Day

"I've always wanted to be an organ trader But I didn't have the stomach for it."

"Which kind of sharply dressed, tiny dwarves make the best drummers? metro gnomes"

"(NEW YEARS) what did the rabbi say on New year's. ""f#ck that, happy **Jew** years!!"""

"Why did the students need a ladder to get into school? It was a high school."

"I thought I saw someone I knew putting up Rick Santorum posters but I couldn't get a propaganda at him."

"Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back."

"My wife was almost killed by a clock today, it fell onto the chair just as she stood up. Damn clock was always too slow."

"God hates fags He prefers a nice, fat, dank blunt."

"A guy walks into a restaurant with his friend. The server ask what he wants to drink and he say H2O. His friend says he will have H2O to. His friend is no longer alive."

"I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands."