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Joke of the Day

"Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back."

"Beef Jerky Did you hear about that new kind of Porno where a slut from Vietnam gives a cow a hand job? It's called Beef Jerky. http://earlmcgerd.tumblr.com/"

"What did the Headless Horseman ask his colleague at Bad Guys Inc.? What do I have to do to get ahead around here?"

"I wonder if the views of a color blind person depend on the circumstances of the scenario Or if they just see the world in black and white."

"What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors."

"What is worse than biting through an apple, and finding a worm inside? ~~Rape~~ The picky fuckers on this website."

"A Polish guy goes to the eye doctor The doctor holds up a chart: K Z S Y X W K P G and asks the man if he can read it. ""Read it?"" he says, ""I *know* the guy!"""

"Why is Peter Pan such a terrible pilot? Because he Neverlands"

"How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!"

"If con is the opposite of pro... ... then congress is the opposite of progress."