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Joke of the Day

"Did you know? If you stand under the moonlight and say the name of your true love 3 times, you'll look really stupid."

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"Anti-virus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges. If they catch him I guess the trial will last 30 days."
"What do you call a Mexican that loses a car? Carlos."
"I like my coffee like I like my women. Cock full o' nuts."
"What's the difference between Santa Clause and a Pedophile? Nothing, they both like to unload their sacks while pleasuring children."
"Men that know the difference between moist and wet, know the difference between failure and success"
"In the new version of Star Wars, Harrison Ford slowly flies the Millenium Falcon in the left lane with the turn signal on"
"My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside."
"Wanted to respond with ""Perfect!"" but accidentally sent ""Pervert!"" That's my cue to leave. And sorry, Steve, you're probably not a pervert."
"(Selling my soul) Just sign here and here ""I should have a lawyer read this"" *a million lawyers crawl through hell* We have plenty of those"
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