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Joke of the Day

"Doctor told me I have cirrhosis of liver How am I going to cure my alcohol addiction now!"

"The problem with political jokes is that they get elected."

"Gone are the days when I could just jump in the pool fully clothed without thinking twice. Thanks a lot, Steve Jobs."

"YOGA CLASS INSTRUCTOR: And now we go into downward dog *loud thud GARY WHO IS A T-REX: I'm ok. I'm ok. It's just a bloody nose."

"She is not my reword, I am her punishment."

"Say ""I won a math debate"" 5 times really fast! Now slap yourself for being such a pervert."

"If I had a nickel for every GEICO commercial I've ever seen, I could buy us all car insurance."

"My friend Roy made up this joke, so goddamn proud Why did the beer get bottled? He was trying to dodge the draft."

"Did you know they are making an action movie about the great composers? Arnold Schwarzeneggar says he'll be Bach."

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator"