199895

Joke of the Day

"Things were going well with my date, until she noticed my Roomba was a Frisbee glued to a bunch of rats"

"Those little bumps around your nipples? That's braille for ""suck me."""

"Anyone have any sex laying around they're not using I could borrow?"

"My VW Beetle can't deliver when I want a ""GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY"" honk. It's all, ""Hi! Let's get a latte after you move just a smidge!"""

"Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana. "

"All of my friends are jealous when they find out I hooked up with my math teacher in high school But honestly, being homeschooled sucked."

"My friend had a stroke and half his body went dead He's all right now."

"Why can't you lie to an aborted fetus? It wasn't born yesterday."

"What do you call a man who's on fire? Bernie."

"a window joke What happens when the man shakes? The windows milk shake!"