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Joke of the Day

"What do a hockey player and a hippie chick have in common? They both shower after 3 periods."

"Just opened the freezer and the vodka literally rolled out into my hands, no way I could ignore this sign from god."

"What did the Mexican Fire Chief name his two sons? Jose and Hose B."

"What do you call a woman with a purple vagina? Satisfied"

"/r/jokes/ wins Friend of the Planet award! for 95.001% recycled content."

"Face tattoos are a great way to let people know that you don't owe on any student loans."

"I saw a crazy squirrel today.. He was fucking nuts."

"Chuck Norris wanted to make jokes great again So he bought a trumpet for every time we make an horrible pun."

"Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise"

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we give a shit."