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Joke of the Day

"What do lovesick owls say when it's raining? Too-wet-to-woo."

"What's green and has wheels? The grass. I lied about the wheels."

"If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.. And one of them was assaulted."

"Why are hurricanes named with female names? Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them."

"What's the difference between my dick and my wifes vibrater? The vibrater can actually make her orgasm. (Sorry for spelling.)"

"I'm thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there's this thing called Google now."

"What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire."

"If Bill Clinton was a construction worker he would be called Bob the Billder Sorry."

"I was recently asked to be a part of a biological experiment. The researchers said they would mutate me with an extra chromosome and give me $10 000 for it. I'm down."