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Joke of the Day

"Why are hurricanes named with female names? Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them."

"How do you answer the question ""What's new?"" without sighing really loudly first?"

"Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy? Security at Samsung."

"If Santa knows who's being bad, maybe he could have given us a heads-up during the early planning stages of the Holocaust."

"I would never exaggerate... ...in a million years."

"Have you seen www.tomatosauce.com? No I'll ketchup with it later."

"Why can Stephen Hawking only do one liners Because he can't do stand ups"

"Noah in a pet shop ""Two of every animal please"" ""Want any unusual examples?"" ""No, just arky-types"""

"How do you tell apart a Chinese from a Japanese? With a Geiger Counter."

"I was kicked out of the army because I got gonorrhea It was a dishonorable discharge"