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Joke of the Day

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.. And one of them was assaulted."

"Q: What did the alien say to the gardener? A: Take me to your weeder."

"People who are mad that we don't have hoverboards yet are VERY forgiving of the fact that we still have, like, racism."

"my sex life is a lot like the bible mostly imaginary and with not much chance of a sequel"

"H: Well, the remote was definitely broken, so I went and bought a new one. Me: H: Oh, and it came with this 75"" television."

"Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart? Because noble gases are nonreactive."

"An environmentalist group found a place with the world's highest recycling rate... /r/Jokes"

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard!"

"When I was a little kid, my dad would swear then say ""Excuse my French"" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand"

"Did you hear about the joke in /r/science? [+][deleted] 5 hours ago"