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Joke of the Day

"Your momma is so stupid That her adult child is still reading and downvoting Yo momma jokes."

"The labels on prescription bottles are just suggestions, like speed limits."

"I hate one-dimensional games. They're so linear."

"Honey, does the baby do parkour? ""No"" she says. He replies ""then he fell out the window""."

"So I read on a website to ""treat your furry friend once a week."" So I bought him two tickets to Zootopia."

"My extremely slow tailor is trying to give me an impromptu fitting but I don't want to do it right now I'm taking steps to prevent the measure"

"I feel like a crushed Coke can on the sidewalk. Soda pressed."

"My life is an open book. But it's very poorly written and I die in the end."

"Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike"

"[RACIST] The Parrot A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. ""Wow,"" says the bartender. ""That is really something. Where'd you get it?"" ""Africa,"" says the parrot."