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Joke of the Day
"Honey, does the baby do parkour? ""No"" she says. He replies ""then he fell out the window""."
Next Joke
"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday It was mighty kind of them, but they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch"""
"Why are Redditors naturally great at swordfighting? They practice riposting all the time."
"On the train... A girl sneezes. you: ""bless you."" she: ""sorry, i have a boyfriend."" voice from a few seats behind you: ""i'm a vegan."""
"Dogs have non-traditional family structures... because they have four Pa's."
"[meta] why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other bar!"
"Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one but it may take him/her more than five years to do it."
"what do my ex and my toilet have in common? They both keep bringing up old shit"
"How did the inventor of the car advertise his new ""horse-less carriage""? He said it goes without a hitch!"
"Mugger *shows knife* Crocodile Dundee ""No this is a knife"" *pulls out huge knife* Alanis Morrisette ""Hang on"" *sifts through 10,000 spoons*"