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Joke of the Day

"My extremely slow tailor is trying to give me an impromptu fitting but I don't want to do it right now I'm taking steps to prevent the measure"

"What do astronomers do when they have nowhere else to turn? They default in our stars"

"This ice cream is legen - wait for it - DAIRY."

"My life would be so much easier if it wasn't for that thing...God, what is that thing called...other people."

"What is hard, long, and full of seamen? A submarine"

"How did Godzilla get the job opportunity? Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall."

"Half Life 3 was going to be released several years ago... ...But the voice actor for Gordon Freeman was supposed to announce it, and no-one can find him."

"How come you never write e-mails? I'd rather send a note!"

"A chemistry lab is like a rave some drop acid and some drop base."

"Don't give a man a fish. Teach a man to fish. Then sue that man for fishing on your property."