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Joke of the Day

"Jehova's witnesses don't celebrate halloween I guess they just don't appreciate random people coming up and knocking on their doors."

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"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand, but I'm thinking of you."

"My doctor said diarrhea is hereditary. I guess it runs in your genes"

"Your ass must get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth!"

"She asked me for a dollar... But I only had three quarters of it."

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokinoff."

"""Guess my nationality"" the old man said Deducing from the man's accent that he was Briish, the other man said so. ""You're correct, but where's the t?"" asked the man. ""In the harbor"""

"What doesn't kill you, forces me to reload."

"i had a dream a policeman came into my apartment and gave me a field sobriety test and i failed and went to jail"