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Joke of the Day

"Your ass must get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth!"

"Thai masseuses are deceitful bitches Give them a chance and they'll walk all over you"

"Why do ants rarely, if ever, get sick? Because of their tiny little anty bodies."

"What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull!"

"A single text to my mom is like pulling that loose thread on a sweater."

"The lord said to Abraham, ""Come forth and I'll give you eternal life."" Abraham came fifth. He won a toaster."

"My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me."

"Q: Did you hear about the burned down tree? A: It was ash."

"A slightly drunk woman. A slightly drunk woman watches tv and yells ""Don't go there! Don't go to the church you dumb bitch!"" Her husband asks ""What are you watching?...""Our wedding video""."

"What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand? He screws, nuts, and bolts"