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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who gets sexually excited by the American Standard Code for Information Interchange? An ASCIIphile."

"wife: What's wrong? me [annoyed because the kids menu has a picture of a tree on it but they didn't give me any brown crayons] Nothing"

"My dad asked me where the phone was... I said it was calling lost and found"

"Two introverts go to a bar. They leave immediately."

"Where does a king keep his armies?? In his sleevies"

"My wife thinks I'm too drunk to take the goldfish for a walk, but I'll show her!"

"A Jew walks into a bank... ""Honey I'm home!"""

"Were you born on Highway 22? Because I heard alot of accidents happened there."

"How do you spell elephant ? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t ""That's not how the dictionary spells it"" ""You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"""

"I miss the things we shared together. Not the chlamydia but the rest of the stuff was cool."