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Joke of the Day

"My wife thinks I'm too drunk to take the goldfish for a walk, but I'll show her!"

"Welcome to the jungle. My name is Axl Rose. I think you'll find we run a pretty good jungle here. There's the toilet *points everywhere*"

"This part of the joke is called the setup. This part is not."

"Anyone realize Dora is always lost every episode? Why is their no Amber alert for her? Is it because she's Mexican?"

"What has six eyes but can't see? Three blind mice."

"My love for you is like a rapist: it just doesn't stop."

"Wife: what do you want to do for you birthday? Me: not answer any more questions."

"What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing indians."

"For a hero, it's pretty cool that Mario is just a dude who ignores his real job, does mushrooms and smashes his head into things all day."

"Why shouldn't you make jokes about dwarves giving fellatio? It's a bit of a low blow..."